Velcro Hearts

Well the title I initially had in mind for this post was Sex, Drugs, & Bangalore. But that was uncannily (in)appropriate. Ahem.

So anyways, wow, what a journey. As I’m writing this, I’m on a night train from Bangalore to Hampi, back on the road all on my lonesome after about 2 weeks with the same group of incredible people in Mysore and Bangalore. Not the initial intention, as usual. It shouldn’t come as a surprise anymore, and in fact I should just stop mentioning it seeing as how everything is unplanned :-P As a fellow cool traveller, Meredith, would say: “If the plans don’t drop you, drop the plans”.

The people I met during this time have rocked my socks, all six pairs of them. Another family away from home. And they’ve inspired me so much as well; a bold woman who has been travelling for three years and has sailed across most of the globe, an artist, motorcycle rider, hippie yoga chick turned confidante to an insecure me, a kind-hearted sister and nose-piercing companion (yes, I went there, more on that later), lots of good-looking, incredibly intelligent veterinarians (eheh), an incredibly supportive, open, loving, and close friend with the most generous heart and amazing soul, and everyone in between. All family :-). This was one of the most difficult departures so far. 

Sometimes I wonder if I, and other travellers, get a kick out of this goodbye torture. I used to think that I leave because I am afraid of becoming attached, because I’m running away, but now I have an alternate theory. My suspicion is that if you know you are there only in passing, you don’t waste time; you very often skip the small talk and almost immediately bond with the people you get that initial connecting vibe with. You make it meaningful, true, emotional, loving. Concretely feeling how limited your time together is, you strive to enjoy every single moment you have together. Short, concentrated, and real. And sometimes too intense. The CouchSurfing world is often full of such encounters. I think what’s addicting is not meeting and leaving, but the fierceness with which you get to connect with people in such a short amount of time. It’s something you very rarely experience in daily life staying in one place. I know people whom I’ve seen every day for years back home, and we never got past the acquaintance level, even though we potentially could have been very close friends. And when I travel, I sometimes feel like every person I meet is a soul mate. There is less fear to approach, less holding back. And sometimes you need a break from this intensity too… Velcro heart syndrome is a chronic travelling condition, with self-initiated remission periods.

So, yeah, back to the cities. Mysore was beautiful and regal – fitting for a palace city – and more laid-back than Bangalore. One of my personal achievements while there would probably have to be getting to go to a South Indian wedding and pooing in an Indian-style toilet while wearing a sari. No photos of that though, fortunately.

Blore – as the locals call it when texting :P – is loud, polluted, modern, cosmopolitan. It’s not a place to see so much as to experience. I can understand why most travellers do not enjoy visiting this city. I would have hated it were it not for the people. What did I do? Mostly party almost every night, be hungover, party again, visit a restricted access army riding school (hurray for local connections :P), party some more, take naps, hug people, get a nose ring (simultaneously with Ali, my piercing sister – whenever my nose aches, I will think of her ;-)), shop (my bag gained some serious kgs with all the beautiful kurtis), visit one of the city’s lovely parks and rediscover science, dance, hug more people, party some more, listen to vets talk about their passion, visit to the hospital (I had been feeling dizzy, irritable, and had trouble breathing – apparently I’m allergic to Bangalore), more dancing, more hugging.

So all in all a positive experience. A lot of self-analyzing, thinking, processing, and breaking down also happened, most likely because I felt safe and had support from the people around. Not a bad thing :) I feel more lost than ever, still incredibly insecure and afraid of so many things, unsure of what I want and who I am. But I’m thinking more and more that these aren’t the kinds of problems that will be resolved by working on them directly. I need to learn to relax and enjoy the moments as they come. Everything else will fall into place as it needs to.

Now back to the train, my first sleeper train experience! I’m on the upper berth, and even before boarding I noticed a lovely girl settled in the berth below mine. It didn’t take long for us to start talking about the things that matter :P, eventually fading into silence as people fell asleep around us, and watching the darkness and stars go by. Excuse me while I join the others in Morpheus’ arms, a train-shaped, soothingly rocking Morpheus…

Photos: Mysore & Bangalore